Everyone has one of those days every now and then when they really don’t feel like working and just want to slack off for the day. Unfortunately most people don’t know how to do it right so it’s not completely obvious… so here’s a list of ways and tools to make that easier to do without getting caught or noticed (hopefully):
- Use Firefox to do your web browsing with certain extensions – Firefox is something most people won’t recognize in your system tray since most people still use IE and have no idea what Firefox even is. Couple this with extensions such as Minimize to Tray, Page Title Eraser, and Stealther to keep your web browsing even more low profile.
- Use Vista’s taskbar thumbnails – Vista may get a bad rap for many things but there’s one thing it allows you to do that is VERY conducive to goofing off at work… window thumbnails in the taskbar! For those of you who may not be familiar with this new feature here’s how it works: if you move your mouse over a window title bar in the taskbar it will pop up a little preview thumbnail to give you an idea of what it is. What this also means is you can start a video playing in Windows Media Player and put that in the background behind another window (like Outlook for instance) so it can’t be seen but you then mouse over it in the taskbar and the little preview window comes up showing the video playing! Should someone come walking by you simply move your mouse off the taskbar and the video goes away instantly.
- Use Outlook as your RSS feed reader – Since most people don’t know you can have your RSS feeds come into Outlook they’ll just think you’re reading emails. This works best at a distance since up close they may notice that it’s not really email but it works perfectly when you simply have “drive by” traffic outside your cube. And speaking of RSS feeds, allow me to remind you of my full story feed HERE!
- Make effective use of tabbed browsing – If you’re using Internet Explorer 7 at your company (or using Firefox as listed above), you can use tabbed browsing to your advantage. Here’s how it works: Open a tab with something you can justify having open (such as the company intranet) and then open another tab with something you actually want to read. As your reading, keep your left hand on the control and tab keys while you scroll with your mouse using the right hand. If you hear someone coming or some pops in your cube just quickly hit the control and tab keys to make the browser switch over to the other tab.
- Keep a USB flash drive in your PC – If your computer has a working USB port, buy a small USB flash drive and plug it into the PC. This is not only a great way to bring in files from home but also a great way to store files you download at work that you don’t want on your work PC directly or just want to take home. This also allows you to clean up your PC very quickly should you need to… just pull the drive and walk away. If you’re really paranoid you can even install Firefox and other such applications on your flash drive and run them directly from there to keep your work PC completely clean.
- Always have paperwork on your desk and a spreadsheet open (assuming this is something that fits your work environment) – This ploy is very low tech but works wonderfully. By having some paperwork sitting next to your keyboard and spreadsheet open on your PC you can look very busy at a moments notice by simply looking at the paper and then back at the spreadsheet… rinse and repeat. This makes it appear that your trying to correlate data between the paperwork and the spreadsheet… which most people won’t even question. Once you’ve mastered this you can pretty much space out and still look busy.
- Use Meebo.com to IM – Meebo.com is a website that allows you to log into your favorite IM clients all in one neat little web page. Not only does this mean you can chat with your friends all day long but you can do it without having to install all those pesky tell-tell IM clients that people at work will notice.
- Always look and act depressed that someone is disturbing you – This is a classic way to accomplish two tasks at once: make people think you’re too busy to be bothered and keep people from bothering you again. You can be doing the most mundane of tasks like browsing the web but if someone walks into your cube you should spin around and immediately give them an exhausted look and ask what they need with a sigh. This will make the person think you overworked and they may even leave while saying something like “Man… sorry to bother you… I’ll come back later when you’re not so busy.” You may then gleefully return to your slacking.
- Learn to use webmail – Many ISP’s offer the option to check your home email via the web. Why waste your precious time at home checking mail when you get paid to do it at work right? Besides, this is a great way to kill some time at end of the day or right before/after lunch.
- Work in the IT department – This is by far the best way to be a slacker at work as long as you aren’t in IT management. You’ll usually know what’s being monitored and what’s not which means you can get away with more, you can explain away your web browsing as a search for “drivers” or “tech bulletins”, you can talk “techno babble” to people when they ask what your doing and they’ll have no idea that you actually said nothing, and best of all you can talk to others in the office at length under the guise of “troubleshooting an issue”.
All that said, let me tell you that some (if not most) of these things could get you in trouble should you get caught doing them. While I think that goes without saying generally, I’d like to make that statement just in case some of you do these things and then get your ass fired. Also, some of these things may not be possible in your work environment if say your PC is locked down and doesn’t allow software installs. If that’s the case then I’d highly recommend you don’t do any of these things. Other than that, good luck and enjoy your extra free time!
P.S. This blog entry was done at work using some of the methods described above. Just a “proof of concept” I assure you.
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