Top 10 reasons why Paris Hilton is not news… ever

by Mike on July 16, 2007

  1. She’s only famous for being famous – How the hell does that happen? I mean really!
  2. She’s not special in any way, shape, or form – I guess she’s “special” in a short bus kinda way but that’s a whole different thing.
  3. She’s just rich and spoiled – This in no way should make her newsworthy. She’s just like every other little rich girl out there.
  4. Her sister Nicky is much prettier and less slutty – Why don’t we focus on her? My guess is the whole “less slutty” part…
  5. She’s way too skinny to ever be considered attractive – I’ve never found stick figures attractive even if that may be the “in” thing at the moment.
  6. She can’t sing – Somehow she managed to get a recording deal of course but then again so did William “She bangs… she bangs!” Hung
  7. She can’t act – The only reason to cast her in a movie would be get it some press… which doesn’t say much for the movie to begin with if you ask me.
  8. She’s no longer in jail – At least while she was behind bars it was entertaining to think of all the horrible things that could happen to her in there.
  9. Her sex tape was horrible – Ask any guy who’s seen it and he’ll tell you why… that’s all I’m gonna say.
  10. Two words: attention whore – ‘Nuff said.

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